I just had a kind of emotional breakthrough. This is really the only place that I can express it, so here I go...
I'm really sad. All this bullying going on in the world just makes me really sad because I am one of the many victims of all this negative energy. These people think I'm not, but I am aware of the things being said about me, and it hurts my feelings, it does. I'll get some good comments, but just one negative one will completely throw me off. The world is hard enough at this age, what with trying to find out who you are and what in the world you want to be. I can try to avoid these feelings but they get to me. It doesn't help when people are constantly cutting me down like I'm not even human. I just wish that people would pay attention to me and my art and not my personal life. What with rumors about me being bi or gay, I really have given up on humanity. I seriously think that even if it was any of those people business that they would truly know the answer instead of having to spread rumors about me. I've told the principal and hinted teachers, but because I have no school spirit or I don't give the school money, none of the adults really listen to me. I have to try to keep my mistakes to myself so I won't be made fun of anymore. The pressure to be perfect in this society is greater than anything else. One day I came home and just sat there and cried thinking to myself, how did I let my life get to this point? When people are mean for no reason, it's horrible. I don't want to force myself to be a different person just to fit in. I'm really hurting inside and all this is devastating to me. I've been every where as far as emotion. The world seems to be more of a competition than anything it used to be. You win or you don't and if you don't you're tossed away by humanity like some kind of animal.
I just hope that some day the world will be like it was before when everyone loved on another without any stipulations. If you read my whole little rant, thank you.
- Mood: Hysterical
- Listening to: Be my escape - Relient K
- Reading: I Am Number Four (Thanks Adrienne!)
- Watching: Old people fall on escalators
- Playing: ...
- Eating: Spaghetti. Spagatt. Who cares? Food!
- Drinking: Nothing thats illegal... *hides Smirnoff bottle*
it will all be alright stuff like this happens to everyone. imyself have 1 freind in my school and i'm not sure i can even call her that. i've never been able to stay at one school for more than 1 year so i'm left out and unable to be heared. all the advise i have for you is ignore them and keep going... this was a big problem in one of my older schools. but instead of keeping there chin up two girls tried to commit suicide one was my freind and i don't want to talk about the other case. it makes people realize how you just need to keep going or you'll waste a life that could be used to bring happiness to others like yourself.... long story short : keep you head up and be yourself, ignore the mean and it will all be over soon. just never NEVER think about suicide. i stress the importance of that to every sad pearson i meet. just to be sure that the'll live another day. sorry this was so long.
I haven't thought of that at all because in my religion, christianity, suicide will take you straight to hell. And I don't want to end up there.
Why haven't you come to me or Trinity about this?(I so spelled her name wrong)I'm going through the same stuff you are. Sometimes I just come home after school and flop down on my bed crying, scared that my dad will come for me. Do you know how it feels, to be scared of your own father? You know the cuts on my arms that you've probably seen at school? I made those. With my own blade. I am officially emo. But that's not why I hang out with ou more now, it's because we understand eachother. People think we're dating, well, they can all go to fucking hell. They can think whatever they want, but I will ALWAyS be there for you. Don't ever forget that.
I LIKE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS BECAUE SHUT UP.
I LIKE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS BECAUE SHUT UP.
I know that, it's just that, most people don't know what it's like to wake up in the morning knowing that people are going to stare and talk about you. I feel like my dad is disappointed in me because I'm not the star football player like he expected me to be.
well your dad's just a big old deuch, just like mine...but he said he would never change the way he is, and look at him now. just read the journal I just posted to find out more. And people keep saying you and me are dating. It friggin pisses me off because some say you and me make a good couple, then they turn around and say that me and Brock or issac make a cute couple. It fucking annoys me...